TEA TIME
by SupernaturallyEgocentric
Summary: Chapter 17 comes with a challenge words from jenjoremy: rainbow. Is this really the end? Yes, it is. For now.
1. Chapter 1

Agatha had her folksy bullshit down pat.

If it weren't for the bedlam black eyes gleaming at him and the fact that she'd tied him to a chair, Dean would have thought she was a nice old bat.

"Would you like a macaroon with your tea? They're quite tasty." Agatha held the plate out to him, ignoring the fact that his arms were secured to the chair.

"No, thanks." Dean eyed the screwdriver sitting next to the cookies. "What's that for?"

She looked at it, then back up at him, and chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure we can think of something."


	2. Chapter 2

Dean spat out the macaroon. "I told you I didn't want any fucking cookies! Jesus, what's in that shit, kitty litter?"

Agatha's watery eyes glittered malevolently. Sniffing, she clumped over to an ancient desktop computer and banged on the dusty keyboard, bringing it to life. "Your loss, pretty boy, your loss. Guess we'll just get started."

"What?" Dean was feeling a bit dizzy from the gag-worthy cookie. Had the old bitch doped him? "Start what?"

Agatha clicked on a boxy icon. Shooting him a disdainful glare, she popped a cookie into her mouth. "Picky brat. They taste fine to _me_!"


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't get it," Garth said. "What could _she_ have to do with Dean disappearing?"

Sam didn't answer.

Lips pressed tight, he was studying the body of an elderly woman lying on a heart-shaped water bed. She was dressed in threadbare Wonder Woman pajamas, a pink feather boa cinched tightly 'round her neck. An aging tortoiseshell cat hunched up against her knees.

Garth picked up the agitated cat, crooning soothingly when she hissed and raked her claws across his arm. "It's okay, kitty. What say we find you some catfood, huh? Oh, hell, screw that. Let's find you some tuna!"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

This is one of my favorite kind of challenges. The kind where the challenge words control where the story goes. I need more words (frantically tearing out hair). HELP! No word will be refused!


	4. Chapter 4

"Of course, I didn't _plan_ on taking you, dearie." Agatha tickled the keys of the laptop and brought up Google.

"But when I saw you poking around –" she twisted around in her chair to smile at him – "I couldn't resist."

Dean's hackles rose at her decidedly licentious gaze, but he said nothing.

She turned back to the laptop. "It's amazing the things you can find online. Google is amazing. Oh, here it is! 'Taxidermy for Amateurs'!"

"Wha - ?" Dean blanched. "You come anywhere _near_ me, I'll plant my boot so far up your ass you'll be puking shoelaces!"


	5. Chapter 5

Growling happily, the cat tore into the bowl of tuna and diced cucumbers.

"Cats are like goats!" Garth said, delighted. "They'll eat _anything_!"

As far as Sam was concerned, the cat could chew on the old lady. "I'm gonna check out the rest of the apartment."

"Okey-dokey."

((((((((((((((((((((

Sam didn't have to look far for signs of what had happened to Dean.

Sulphur in the living room.

Sulphur in the hall.

And on the bathroom mirror, a message scrawled in blotchy mascara:

FINDERS, KEEPERS

LOSERS WEEPERS

LOSER!

Sam sighed. "My life is just a big steaming pile of 'What the fuck'."

SUPNSUPNSUPNSUPNSUPNSUPNSUPN

Seriously, these challenge words KICKED MY ASS! I started it over like EIGHT times. It took me THREE DAYS to finally get it to where I liked it. KUDOS to d767468. You almost got me!


	6. Chapter 6

"Even for a demon, that's pretty whacky," Dean said, heart pounding. "Sure you don't want to start out with something smaller? Hey, how about you untie me, we'll go outside and whip us up some mudpies."

Agatha turned slowly to face him, demon black eyes now opalescent orbs floating in an ancient face.

"Shall we try the rack instead?" Her slow smile was terrible. "That's how I died, young man, more than three hundred years ago."

"Oh, I dunno. Would that give me stretch marks? 'Cause I have a responsibility to babes everywhere to keep this body in pristine condition."


	7. Chapter 7

"This seem off to you? The mirror is something a school kid might come up with," Garth said.

"The whole thing is off," Sam answered.

"And did you see the poster in the bedroom?" Garth shuddered. "It's a picture of _X-Files'_ Vent Man. Scary."

There was a sudden loud peal of music and both men jumped.

The doorbell was playing "_Somewhere over the Rainbow_".

Doo-wop version.

Not sure anymore whether he was awake or dreaming, Sam opened the door.

A red-headed little girl, freckled and gap-toothed, maybe eight-years-old, grinned up at him.

"Hey, Sam! I'm Mockingbird! Can I come in?"


	8. Chapter 8

Agatha stared at him for a tense moment.

At last the mesmeric eyes cleared to a faded blue. She laughed. "You're not just a pretty face, are you? Bravo, young man!"

Ignoring the perspiration creeping down his spine, Dean said cockily, "I aim to please!"

Still chuckling, Agatha plopped herself back in front of the computer.

"Okay, no stuffing, no stretching. It does limit us a bit. Hmm, we could, no, that needs to be done at neeptide. Oh, look! Larva! Excellent!"

"Wait, what?"

"Don't worry, no stretching or poking," she reassured him. "They'll just hollow you out a bit!"

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Please, can I have some more words? (employs puppy dog eyes learned from Sam)


	9. Chapter 9

Sam looked into the girl's eyes and knew she was anything but human. Letting her in was probably a _very_ bad idea.

Judging by the alarm on Garth's face, he thought so, too.

At his hesitation, Mockingbird's grin morphed into something more Stephen King than Pippy Longstocking. "What's the matter? Don't you want your brother back?"

"Where is he?"

She waited.

Sam sighed and let her in.

With a hop, skip and jump she was clinging to the side of a tall sideboard, digging into a flower pot. Pulling out a ragged, dirty photograph, she jumped back to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'd just as soon skip the larva, if you don't mind," Dean said.

Agatha stiffened. "You aren't being very helpful. Or friendly."

"It's not my job to be a demon's fucking little helper!" Dean snarked.

"I can't imagine what I was thinking. " Her tone was frosty. "I've tried to be civil, tried to be nice – "

"You're trying to _kill_ me!"

" – and you treat me like I have cooties!"

"If the shoe fits, whackjob!" Dean shouted.

Agatha drew herself up. "Fine. If that's the way you want it." She snatched the screwdriver from the remains of the cookies.


	11. Chapter 11

Mockingbird carefully tucked away the photo. "She's got your brother at a deserted hotel at Fifth and Claremont."

"A demon?" Sam asked.

"_Duh_."

"Gotta ask," Garth said. "The old lady. The Wonder Woman pajamas, the feather boa - "

"Zee was my friend." Mockingbird's face darkened. "She was a little cracked, but a potent witch; the last of a powerful bloodline."

"What about you?" Sam asked warily.

"Me?" Mockingbird gave him a secret smile and, with a little squelching pop, vanished.

In her place a small grey bird hovered for a breathtaking instant and then flashed out an open window, calling raucously.


	12. Chapter 12

"You friggin' _bitch_," Dean gritted out. "You are friggin' dead. I am gonna rip your friggin' _heart_ out and feed it to you!"

"Heart? Oh, I keep that in the refrigerator. Tupperware, you know. It comes in very handy." Agatha stepped back and critically studied the star-shaped pattern of the five bloody puncture holes in his arm.

Dean stared at her in bemused wonder. "You are out of your damned mind."

"Oh, no, I just suffer from a mild dyspepsia. It makes me a little grouchy." Agatha raised the screwdriver. "I think you need another freckle, right under your eye."


	13. Chapter 13

"You think it's a trap?" Garth asked. "That demon's waiting to pounce on us once we get in there?"

"Doesn't matter." Sam drew out the demon blade. "That's where Dean is. That's where we're going."

Once inside, it was no surprise the hotel was deserted. It looked as if it had been decorated by a dedicated schizophrenic; one who couldn't quite decide if the theme were Disneyland or Deep Space Nine.

Studying a particularly lurid painting depicting a troop of wide-eyed bunnies emerging from a psychedelic wormhole, Garth looked nauseous. "I feel like I'm on a bad acid trip, dude."


	14. Chapter 14

Agatha came close, mad eyes intent on Dean's face. As soon as she was within reach, Dean bared his teeth and latched onto her wrist.

Agatha screeched. The screwdriver dropped to the floor. She tried to pull free but Dean held on grimly, teeth tearing through her skin and fracturing the wrist bones.

"Damn you! Let - me - go_!_" Frantic with pain, she raised her free hand and struck Dean on the side of his head.

The force of the blow knocked him loose and sent his chair skidding across the floor to crash against the door.

Dean slumped forward, unconscious.


	15. Chapter 15

A blood-curdling shriek split the air, followed by a roar and a volley of rabid curses that had Sam's stomach twisting.

Following the screams, the two pounded up a marble staircase to the fourth floor. The trail ended at room 403, with the sound of a thud against the inner door.

Sam kicked open the door and, leaping over Dean, dove for the old woman crooning over her ruined hand.

Before she could do more than raise her head, the demon blade was in her throat and she was dead on the floor, black eyes staring up at the ceiling.


	16. Chapter 16

Kneeling next to Dean, Garth grinned up at an anxious Sam.

"He's okay. Gonna have a hell of a headache, but he's good."

The adrenaline left Sam in a rush of heady relief. Shaking a bit, he knelt down and touched his brother's face. "Dean? Hey, you in there?"

A faint groan. Then, "Sammy?"

"Yeah, Dean. Me and Garth."

"Good." Dean opened his eyes a crack and grimaced at the light. "Didja kill her?"

Garth snorted. "Sam stuck her with that demon toothpick. She's pretty damned dead."

Dean's eyes closed. He gave a ghost of a smile. "That's my boy."


	17. Chapter 17

Once Dean was sure his headache wouldn't have him puking in the Impala, the Winchester boys headed back to the bunker.

Sam drove. The black car was silent; the only sound that of the engine and Dean's soft snores.

/ / / / /

High above them, a small bird kept pace.

Through four states she followed, sliding through rain and rainbow, sunlight and moonshine, until the big car disappeared into the bunker's underground cavern.

Then, satisfied, she flew into the dawn.

Owing a hunter a favor wasn't an easy burden to bear, but bear it she would, until the time came to repay it.


End file.
